A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME

My husband hums Taps when I bring plants home.  His humorous recognition of my inability to keep vegetation alive is painfully true.   Occasionally, a plant will overcome my lack of nurturing and actually survive.  So, I trimmed the rose bushes the other day.  Okay, I scalped the rose bushes!  I don’t know what came over me!  The incident started as a simple housekeeping task motivated by an artistic desire to “improve” their natural beauty.

I was in the backyard with the dog and noticed the potted rose bushes were looking a bit scraggly although, one bush had several blooms on it.  I was in a hurry to go run my errands, but the dog was taking her time so I went in to the house, set my coffee cup on the counter and brought the scissors outside to trim the bushes.  My caffeine inspired creativity took hold - just a little off here and a little more taken off there.  You know how the rose “sticks” look at the gardening centers in the spring?  That’s how my bushes looked when I finished the job.

One of my favorite movies is Steel Magnolias because the dialogue portrays the essence of a woman’s good intentions.  I love Dolly Parton’s Truvy!  She has some wonderful lines:

Shelby: Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much.
Truvy: I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome.

Yes, it was probably a female syndrome that inspired my ingenious impulse – forcing me to cut the rose bushes to a nub in the coldest month of the year.  I told my sister about what I did and she related to the incident by telling me about the time she cut her son’s hair.  The haircut started as a trim and it became a buzz cut.  I didn’t tell my husband about the rose bushes, but he noticed and asked why I cut the roses.  I tried to explain how I meant to trim a little off the top and then suddenly the task took over and it turned into a mission to make the rose bushes look prettier, but he just couldn’t relate to my story.  He slowly shook his head in dismay and commented about the trimmings left around the pots.

I’m curious if the newlyweds will cultivate an interest in horticulture because I could be helpful to them – I’m a regular Edward Scissorhands when it comes to gardening!

DREAM CAR

My husband and son drive F-150 trucks.  The guys are in their “truck” phase now.  They go through different vehicle stages – sports cars, motorcycles, SUVs, and classic cars.  We had a Corvair when our son was in high school, not for driving around, just for cruising.  I don’t know much about cars, but I do like the way some cars look.  In the ‘70s my divorced Dad had a 1966 Thunderbird.  I was in high school and I thought the car was beautiful!  It was powder blue inside and out with a curved back seat made of pleated vinyl.  I drove it to school one day.  All the kids were honking and waving – Wow, I’m cool!  That’s what I thought until my friend let me know about the sticker on the back bumper announcing “Honk if you’re horny”. 

Obviously, coolness is in the eye of the beholder whether reading a car’s bumper sticker or truly admiring the automobile.  I don’t really care what kind of car I drive and it’s probably a good thing since I usually drive my husband’s hand-me-downs.  In the 1980s I drove our Corvette because we lived five miles from my office and my husband wanted to keep low mileage on the car.  I was really cool in that car but let me tell you; I was eight months pregnant driving a small car that sits about ten inches from the ground and it was really not that easy to squeeze in and out of the car therefore, this may have negated some of my coolness.

My BDIL (beautiful daughter-in-law) and I drive practical vehicles and it’s probably a good thing since the guys enjoy their automobiles so much.  My son’s truck was their getaway car at the wedding last summer.  My husband and I have pictures of our wedding car too.  The 1966 Thunderbird was in immaculate condition except for a few marks on the back bumper – where I had scratched off the “Honk“ sticker with a sharp knife!