Hoarder with Borders

Hoarder – My newlywed son stopped by the house the other day and during his visit he called me a “hoarder”.  Hey, I’ve watched that show!  The only place we have paths around stuff is in the garage where the remains of his bachelor pad has taken residence.   When BDIL (beautiful daughter-in-law) and son moved into their apartment there was some discussion involving the items in our garage, but moving any of it to the new place was dismissed when BDIL associated the smell of the bachelor pad with the objects.  No way was she moving any of it into their lovely HGTV fragrantly decorated abode.

And why should brides accept any less than panache?  They have department store registries that can accommodate every design concept imaginable.  Newlyweds start out with as many possessions as it took us thirty years to amass.  I have to wonder, will my daughter-in-law ever feel sentimental about my life-long collections?  I hope so.  However, I have realistic expectations because of a set of dishes my neighbor gave me.  My neighbor inherited her mother-in-law’s household items and considered it “all wrong” for her home by dismissing it as her husband’s mother’s stuff.  She opened her garage and readily gave away crystal, Franciscan dishes and other decorative things to the neighbors.  A free garage sale – I’m there!

This happened twenty years ago and it was an important lesson learned.  If one man’s trash is considered another man’s treasure; then we all have a chance our valuables will have homes someday.  That’s a happy thought.  And since my BDIL has challenged me to get 5,000 on Facebook, I think it would be nice to give her a consolation prize –maybe a little keepsake out of the garage! 

A Birthday Party

THE PARTY – My BDIL (beautiful daughter-in-law) and son joined the festivities celebrating my husband’s birthday.  This is my thirty-seventh year to wish my husband a happy birthday.   In our (almost) four decades together we have grown older and wiser, added a few gray hairs and a couple of extra pounds; that’s probably because of all the “wisdom” we have stored in obvious places.  Gathering with family and friends around the table is important part of our heritage that we want to share with our new daughter-in-law.  She has already observed, during their dating and engagement period, that our family has A Lot of Family Reunions!

It is fun getting her perspective of our clan’s traditions.  One family gathering is our annual pilgrimage to east Texas.  I’m a native Texan myself so it is odd I can’t understand English when we are in east Texas.  It is a different dialect that has a cadence all its own but that’s my husband’s side of the family.  I understand my side of the family perfectly.  My husband claims they are difficult to understand at times – go figure.

So my son and BDIL are now in the swirl of birthday parties, family reunions, weddings and funerals.  Being present is the ultimate representation - gifts, cards, Facebook messages are all good acknowledgements of a special occasion, but it can’t compare to the joy on my husband’s face when dear ones were giving him birthday hugs.  Thanks for the memories – and keep them coming!  

CHARLOTTE’S WEB An interactive site for mother-in-laws

THE JOY – My only child married this summer.  My son is twenty-six, a college graduate, employed, and his dad and I think he’s a wonderful son.  His wife is twenty-two, a cum-laude graduate, employed, beautiful, and we adore her.

THE CHALLENGE- At a family gathering the conversation turned to Facebook postings.  Everyone in the room had a Facebook account except me.  I never exaggerate J, but this time I guess because BDIL (beautiful daughter-in-law) was there (I don’t text either although using acronyms appear to be cool), so I announced that it would be difficult for me to keep up with the correspondence since I would probably have 5,000 people contacting me.  Well, BDIL spoke up and said with a smile, “Charlotte, I think you may be overestimating your popularity.”  You could have heard a pin drop except for the roaring laughter of my sister and nieces!

I need your help.   Is it really impossible to get 5,000 people that want to “friend” a new mother-in-law?  Doesn’t anyone else understand the importance of letting a BDIL know that her mother-in-law is popular?

THE PROMISE – If I get a reasonable amount of empathy to continue seeking a confirmation of my social standing with the masses (let’s say 5000 people) then I can assure you there will be plenty of Facebook time spent on tips and encouragement from mother-in-laws shared on this site.  Come on, prove that AMILs (Awsome Mother-in-laws) can unite and make a difference.  We need each other for support!